I was the other woman. (revised)

I was the 'other woman.' I guess I will start at the beginning. I first met Dan when I was 17 through a mutual friend. I was a teenage ditz and he was a shy nerd and we never really had much to say to one another, although we never disliked each other.
 
Fast forward to age 23. I was fresh out of a very very bad relationship, I was dressed sexy for a concert, slightly drunk, slightly horny, not looking for a one night stand so much as just desperately in need of some of that naughty sort of confidence that only comes when men drool and trip over themselves wanting me. My friend Seth said, "Hey, Dan's here and he's sad. Why don't you go cheer him up?"
 
So I see Dan... 6 years later... and damn. He's a big guy but he has gotten sexy since the last time I saw him. I check for a ring... don't see one... so I walk up to him, grab his hands, put them on my bra-less tits and say, "Does that cheer you up at all?" And he just smiles at me. I know that's a sleazy thing to do... but I was drunk and at that point in my life I really didn't care.Nothing happened that night but some nice conversation and mild flirting.
 
The next day I mention him and someone says, "You know he's married, right?"
"What? I didn't see a ring."
"Well he is married. And his wife is due to have their kid in a couple months."
 
So I apologize the next time I see him and I ask him if he's REALLY married... which he is... his ring is broken and it's been sitting in his ash tray for weeks or more. "You really did cheer me up though," he says.
 
His wife, Marcie, is head nurse at a local hospital. She's the 'bread winner' of the family and he works bars as a karaoke DJ. I figured he would have a drop-dead-gorgeous wife. He's just that type: handsome, outgoing, charming. So one night, he and I and a few friends went back to his place after bar closing time, and that's when I first saw her. Not her, her picture. Their wedding picture, to be more precise. And I remember thinking to myself, "I hope this is just an unflattering picture of her... on her wedding day?" But no, that's just how she looks. I'm not judging her based on that, the few times I met her she seemed nice enough- a little aloof but I figured she just didn't see any need to be friendly with his female friends. I was just shocked. Call me vain, I don't care. I honestly thought she would be the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen in my life.
 
So I casually flirt with him when I see him... never expecting (or at that time wanting) it to go anywhere. I would say, "Dan, if you weren't married I would f*ck your brains out." To me he was 'safe' the way gay guys are safe... you can talk and hug and hang out and you know it will never go anywhere. I thought he had enough will power to resist me.
 
So one night... I'm drunk. And broke. I walk up to Dan and say half seriously, "Buy me a shot and I'll show you my tits." He raises an eyebrow at me and smiles- he has an amazing smile- and orders my favorite. I take it and then he grabs my hand and says, "Time to pay up."  We walk out behind the building and I give him a quick look... and a quick feel... and then we head back inside flirting and drinking more than we should have. We end up back behind the building again and he undoes my pants button and says, "Now let me see everything else."
Now I'm a flirtatious drunk but as soon as the pants start to come off I sober up. "No, come on, I haven't even shaved... and I'm so drunk right now... let's go back inside." I walk in and later say to Seth, "I think Dan tried to f*ck me."
He laughs and says, "Dan is wasted and his wife's not giving him enough attention. I'm sure he didn't mean it. You're not exactly playing hard-to-get, you know."
 
So I think nothing of it and things go back to harmless friendly flirting. There was a definite attraction between us, but I figured nothing would ever come from it.
Until one day... We leave the bar. He and I are in his car and the rest of the group is in another. He starts to talk about how his wife is mean and talks down to him all the time. I say, "It's the hormones. She'll be back to normal in a couple months. Babies are stressful, just give her time." He says, "No, it's not the hormones. She's been like that ever since we got married. I don't know what to do." "You not thinking of leaving her, are you?" "No. I was raised Catholic... we never get divorced. And I love her. But I'm lonely," Runs his hand across my cheek..."I've never had sex with anyone other than my wife," Fingers slowly find their way across my cleavage... down under my bra... "And that's not going to change..." Down my stomach, the tips of his fingers teasing the waistline of my pants...  "Anything else though..." Slowly undoing the button of my jeans... sliding his hand down further...
 
That's how it started. I'm not going to give the details... that's for me to keep private. I will say this: we never actually had sex. Penis never touched vagina. Anything else though... in total orgasm only happened three or four times. We weren't animals about it. His wife wasn't satisfying him and my new boyfriend wasn't satisfying me. In a way I feel good that he chose me to mess around with instead of someone else, because I respected him and I never once pressured him to do more than he was comfortable with. Usually it was just, he'd go out to smoke a cigarette and I'd go with him and he'd give me a quick feel-up in the parking lot; not seductively, but just because a man can only go so long without touching a woman and I like to be touched.
 
And it wasn't an emotional love affair. We were in no way 'soul mates,' more like 'kindred spirits.' We were both attractive and laid-back and fun on the outside but deep and intelligent and sensitive on the inside. And we were horny.
 
We agreed to keep it completely secret, not only from his wife, but from our whole circle of friends. Not to sound vain, but I'm a good looking girl and there were a few men out there- particularly our mutual friend Seth-who would have wondered, "why not me?" He had just gone through a nasty divorce: his wife Lydia cheated on him with- and then left him for- some guy she met one the internet ("Oh, he's my soul mate," she said). She then broke up with Mr Internet a month later, got back together with Seth, and then left him AGAIN a couple months later saying, "I feel like it was all a lie." And I don't know why I chose Dan- maybe because I'm a bad girl trapped inside a good girl's body. Maybe because I thought if no one knew then it didn't count. Maybe because I just wanted a cheap easy orgasm or two without the commitment and I didn't want anyone kissing-and-telling and labeling me a slut. I don't know. Maybe I just always want what I can't have.
 
So one night, things get pretty intimate... in his basement... with his wife and baby sleeping peacefully right above our heads. And we mutually decided that enough was enough. There was a bit of crying, but we were both sick of waking up with a guilty conscience, and who were we kidding? Nothing good could ever come of this. So that was it. The end of the affair.
 
We stayed friends after that, close friends actually. We were so comfortable with the whole situation that we even joked around about it. And it never got intimate again. I think he may have wanted it to once, but I'm not sure. He was going to give me a ride to the bar and picked me up about four hours early, when his wife was gone for the night. He said it was just easier that way because he was on my side of town. All we did was play catch with his kid's ball in the basement and surf the internet. He didn't try anything and neither did I, but he sort of had that look in his eye.
 
So months go by, everything is fine, and then he stops returning my calls. At first I think he's just been busy, but then it's been a month and I still haven't heard from him. Now he's the sort to call any of his friends every week or two just to see how they're doing, so this was out of character for him. So I mention to Seth, "Have you talked to Dan? I'm sure it's nothing but he's hasn't called me in a while. How is he?"
"Uh... Sweetheart, Dan isn't allowed to call you," Seth tells me.
"What? Why?" I ask naively, thinking we still had our little secret.
"Well, he and his wife got in a fight and he told her about everything that happened between you two. They're not going to break up but he had to promise never to see or speak to you again."
"So... now everyone knows?"
"Yup."
"Everyone? They all think I'm a slut now, don't they?"
"Hey, if it makes you feel any better, Marcie knew Lydia was cheating on me and never told me. What goes around comes around, right?"
 
So that's it. That's where I am now. I pretty much lost my whole social life... all my hang-outs were his DJ spots and I'm at least respectful enough not to risk running into him. Sometimes I wonder what I'll say if I ever run into him again, or even worse, run into Marcie. I don't know. Oh well. I learned my lesson. I'll never be the other woman again. I'm done being a home-wrecker. But I have to admit, I had one hell of a good time doing it.